Okay so I feel like I need to vent. Currently I am trying to write a history essay but got distracted by facebook. So I go to like years ago looking back at old statuses and old comments from OLD friends. I notice one from my best friend, whom I have been very distant from recently which has been bumming me out. ANYWAY. She was saying things like I miss you soooo much come back to scotland(FYI:this was when i was on holiday) and we would talk and comment nice things to each other every day and I would see her as much as I could whilst also see my boyfriend, family and juggle school work. We would say stupid stuff no one would understand and how much we were looking forward to seeing each other and I remember back then I thought its gonna be awesome when were both 18 and we can go out together and party together instead of at house parties.
Present day, we have grown apart I havent seen her since January and this is May. We have maybe been out three times maximum partying and just isnt what I thought would happen. This would never have happened back then so why has it now?
So whilst I was looking back at these comments, I see other people saying such nice things to me and I realise I dont even talk to these people anymore, looking back at some of them I forget that I did actually like them at some point and would talk to and get on with them.
Now, I have maybe 4 friends tops. I love them but maybe through all of the hurt and people walking out of my life I stopped liking people. I feel like I’ve become so anti-social and moody without noticing.
My boyfriend is the only thing that has kept me happy, without him I would have had nothing and been this lonely, miserable hermet.
I need to make an effort with people and not be so hateful of people for no reason. Mostly I need to appreciate my best friend and make time for her. Yeah times have changed, people have jobs, college and so we cant just see each other whenever but making that time for her would show her how much I do value her friendship and regret becoming so miserable.
I miss her, miss the old times , miss that girl having my back and cheering me up no matter what.
